Broken Bottles

What do you do when there’s 2 guys coming to beat you up and you’re all alone?

After The Short Switch, I kept seeing BC on a regular basis. As soon as her ex realized what had happened, the guy went crazy. He texted me saying he was gonna beat me up as soon as he sees me. Alright then, it’s on.

About two or three weeks after BC’s ex texted me, I’m with BC at B-bar. I’d texted a couple of my friends to meet me there, but none of them had arrived yet. In walks BC’s ex (he’s about 1 or 2 inches taller than me, but he’s skinny as fuck… I can kick his ass any day of the week) and grabs me by the collar. BC pushes him away and slaps him, at which point I spot the guy’s best friend (not very built, but 6’5”… I’m only 5’7”)… I can’t take them on both… Adrenaline starts to rush… I either have to start punching or be punched. I spot an empty beer bottle, grab it upside-down and smack it against the top of the guy’s friend. The bottle didn’t break, so I swung one more time, this time it broke. He hits the deck like a rock and I assume he’s out.


This is where it all gets fuzzy. Someone, either the bouncers or somebody else, rushed ex-guy and his friend out the front door, but rushed me to the back of the bar instead of outside. BC meets me at the back, and I’m being questioned by one of the bartenders “why did you hit him?” … “I had to, they were gonna gang up on me”… He tells me not to go outside through the front, that he’s gonna get me out of the bar another way. We all agree and he opens the back door. But the back door opened to a hallway that led to an exit that was almost next to the front-door of the bar. Fuck. We come out of there and neither of the guys has yet to spot me. I’m still screwed, because I have to walk by the front entrance of the bar to get to my car. Had the side-exit left me on the opposite side of the entrance, I’d have slipped unnoticed. I start my walk through the sidewalk and ex-guy spots me and charges me… I head-butt him in the stomach and grapple him by the torso… we both fall on the ground. I’m trying to get a head-lock on him but I can’t figure it out. Without releasing him, I try to get back on my feet and we both fall in the middle of the street… Luckily oncoming traffic is slow in this area. I try to get back on my feet again, and by the time we’re about to lose our balance I spot the hood of a taxi that had stopped in the middle of the street to avoid running us over and head for that. I slam him against the hood and finally get a good chokehold on him…


I see blood and broken glass everywhere. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Someone pulls me off the guy and grabs me. Someone else grabs him as well. They let us both go… I can see him bleeding from the top of the head (WTF)… I feel something wet dripping down the left side of my neck. I put my hand on it and when I looked at my palm all I saw was dark red. Why am I bleeding? I’m dizzy… what’s going on?

I spot BC and say “let’s get the fuck out of here”. We walk at a fast pace to my car and leave. I asked her “wtf happened back there? We were fighting, I had him choked and then someone smacked him in the head with a bottle… wtf…” Girl goes: “yeah… it was me… I hit him with the bottle”… Guys, this is how far solipism will go. Just 1 month prior to this she was this dude’s girlfriend, and now she’s smacking him in the head with a beer bottle.

Ok, this girl is crazy. I was literally speechless for a full minute. I can see more blood dripping down my neck, so I head for the nearest hospital. We arrive at the ER and as soon as I walk in, all I hear is a guy screaming “I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM, LEMME GO!”. I look to my right and I see the 6’5” dude being restrained by hospital staff all fucking bloody. I turn around and calmly say to BC, “we’re going to a different hospital.” We drive 5-10 minutes to a different one. I had glass stuck in my left ear and on my left shoulder. A nice doc got them out and sutured my ear back together, then gave me a tetanus shot. Ten to twenty minutes later I get a call from BC’s ex… dude wants to make peace and no more craziness… I agree. Too much blood spilled over a fucking chick. Fucking idiots.

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10 Responses to Broken Bottles

  1. FFY says:

    That shit is pretty crazy. Whooped his ass

    • Looking back, I’ve thought a million times whether I could’ve talked myself out of the fight… Because, honestly, I didn’t even try talking. But, fuck it… they came to pick a fight and I gave them one.

      • Shade Zero says:

        They weren’t there to talk. You did the right thing. Except I may have suggested not crossing the path so they could see you. It would have been better off to head in another direction wait for the coast to be clear and then go to your car (or take a cab home).

      • Yeah… I could’ve gone around the other side of the block to get to my car, but then a fight with the ex would’ve happened anyway next time we saw each other, I guess.

  2. Shade Zero says:

    When it comes to fighting, I defer to the methods used by the Texas Rangers in the old days. Anything goes. The Texas Rangers back then were some of the dirtiest fighters there were. There was a motto of “One Riot One Ranger”. Which usually meant they were outmatched on a straight up fight so they had to improvise.

  3. aneroidocean says:

    Wow, nutty situation. I’m not saying not to defend yourself, but this is why I like going to a regular spot and I always try to be aware of where the bouncing staff is. In a bar situation, the bouncers and the staff are the law. You should always have one or two people on staff on lock down, so that they can take care of the situation and you don’t have to leave. In this case, even though the guy grabbed you, you broke a bottle over his head IN the bar. That bartender must’ve known you or you’d be in cuffs.

    I live walking distance from a bunch of bars, and I always tell people that no matter how in the wrong the other guy is, the bouncer is going to kick you both out and if you fight the staff or throw the first punch, you’re gonna get your ass kicked and then when you get thrown on your ass outside the bar, the cops are either going to be there or show up REALLY quick and trust me, they’re not going to be on your side, no matter what.

    Some of the bouncers around my area are samoan, a lot of them former linebackers. Most samoan women can take me and I’m way taller than 5’7″, just imagine the samoan men. Super nice, but I’d never want to be on their bad side. MPM talks about this a lot. Lock the place down!

    What you did was way better than getting your ass kicked, but your life can end in an instant with multiple pissed off guys coming after you, especially if they get a hold of a weapon. That BC girl must really dig you to smash a bottle over a her ex’s head in the middle of the street. Crazy.

  4. Man that’s crazy shit. I’m about 5’9 and punched a dude that was like 6’5 once. It was like a tiger uppercut out of Street Fighter. Good thing you didn’t get busted by the pigs.

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